Weddings
Fact Sheet
Why get married in church?
A marriage service, wherever it is held, is a
public declaration of
love and commitment to your partner. If you choose to get married in
church, there is an added dimension - the assurance that God cares
about your relationship and that his resources and strength are
available to help you. Including God in your marriage doesn't mean that
you will avoid all the usual ups and downs, but you will know that you
can look to God for help and guidance and that his love will sustain
you. You will also have the support and encouragement of the Christian
Church family.
What do Christians believe about
marriage?
Christians believe that marriage is a gift
from God. In the marriage
ceremony, a couple make a public declaration of lifelong commitment to
love each other, come what may. The Bible compares married love with
the love Jesus has for his followers, the Church family . He expressed
his love by being prepared to sacrifice himself, even to die for the
people he loved. This is amazing, unconditional love. In marriage we
can try to follow his example by loving our partner in a
self-sacrificial way, putting their needs before our own. In marriage
each partner should help the other to become the best that they are
capable of being.
The marriage ceremony gives you a new legal
status as husband and wife
and a new stability within which your relationship can flourish and
grow. Christians believe that marriage offers the right place for the
fulfilment of our sexuality and that it provides a stable and secure
environment for bringing up children.
Preparing: frequently asked questions
What help are we given as we prepare for marriage?
Getting married is an important decision to
make. The marriage service
states that 'No one should enter into marriage lightly or selfishly but
reverently and responsibly in the sight of almighty God.' At St.
Francis you will be expected to attend marriage preparation classes at
which you will look at the marriage service, plan your own marriage
service and explore your own expectations of marriage.
Where can I get married?
You are entitled to be married in the church
of the Church of England
parish where you or your fiancé are resident. If you are a regular
worshipping member at a church in another parish and you are on the
Electoral Roll at that Church, it is usually possible to be married
there if you wish.
In certain circumstances you can apply for a
Special Licence. The
parish priest will explain this to you.
How do I book the church?
As soon as you have decided you would like to
get married in church,
get in touch with us at stfrancisisleworth@hotmail.com,
or 020 8568
9098. Our parish priest or one of our Churchwardens will
happily discuss any arrangements with you and check to see whether the
church is free on your preferred date and time. It is unwise to book a
hall for the wedding reception if you do not know whether the church is
available on the day that you want.
What are the legal requirements?
You must have your banns read out in Church on three consecutive
Sundays during the three months before the wedding. Banns are an
announcement of your intention to marry and a chance for anyone to put
forward a reason why the marriage may not lawfully take place. Banns
need to be read in the parish where each of you live as well as at the
Church in which you are to be married if that is in another parish.
You must be single or widowed.
If you are under the age of eighteen, you must
have your parents'
consent to marry.
What if one of us is divorced?
The Church of England teaches that marriage is
for life. It also
recognises that, sadly, some marriages do fail. The Church accepts
that, in exceptional circumstances, a divorced person may marry again
in church during the lifetime of a former spouse.
A parish priest will be willing to
conduct such a marriage at
St. Francis Church in certain circumstances. You must make an
appointment to speak to them before you plan anything. They will want to
talk to you frankly about the past, your hopes for the future and your
understanding of marriage.
How much will it cost?
The legal fees for a marriage cover the
publication of the banns,
certificate of banns (if necessary), the marriage service and a
certificate of marriage. These fees are available from our parish priest. There are additional fees for the verger, organist,
lighting and flowers.
Where a couple are getting married in
the Church of another parish the
fee for the Calling of Banns with a certificate is £34.
Can I choose what kind of service I want?
You can choose to include particular readings
or poems in the service.
There are usually one or more readings from the Bible or other suitable
material in the service. The parish priest will help you select
the most appropriate. There are also some prayers which are used during
the service. You may like to have a friend or family member leading the
prayers and/or reading your selected reading(s).
If you have friends or family members you
would like to involve in the
service, for example by leading the prayers or reading a bible passage
or playing a musical instrument, please discuss this with our parish priest at an early stage of planning your wedding.
Which hymns and songs can I have?
Our parish priest can advise on
suitable hymns and songs, as
well as music for coming in, going out and during the signing of the
registers.
If you want to set out the words and/or music
on a printed service
sheet, you need to comply with the copyright laws. Speak to your priest about this.
Should we have one or two rings?
A wedding ring is a symbol of unending love
and faithfulness, and of
the commitment you are making to each other. It is your choice whether
you have one ring or two.
Can we have a video recording of the service?
You will need to ask permission from the priest in charge. This is
normally agreed subject to the video being for private use, i.e. not
for use in any commercial purposes.
Our thanks to St. Hilda's Church, Ashford, whose fact sheet we have
adapted.
