Funerals Fact Sheet
A Christian funeral
A funeral marks the close of a human life on
earth.
It is the opportunity for friends and family to express their grief, to
give thanks for the life of someone at the end of their journey in this
world and to commend them into God's keeping.
The Funeral service of the Church of England
can be simple and quiet
with only a few members of the family present or an occasion of great
solemnity with music, hymns and a packed church
It may take place in a parish church, crematorium chapel or cemetery
chapel. The order of service will be the same where ever the service is
held. Where the family are regular communicants the funeral may take
place in Church within a service of Holy Communion (called a requiem
Mass). This will help people focus on the death and resurrection of
Jesus Christ and will proclaim our unity with those who have died in
Christ. The service will be longer and the order of service will be
altered. Discuss this with Reverend Anne Burgess.
Whatever the pattern
of service, the words and actions all speak of a loving God and the
preciousness to him of every human being, and, in particular, the
person you love who has died.
Everyone has a right to a funeral in the Church of England church in
their parish, whether or not they were churchgoers. Priests regard the taking of funerals as an important part of the
church's work and will gladly give time to talk to those who are facing
loss, to be with them in their pain, and to help to arrange whatever
kind of funeral service is most appropriate.
Planning the Funeral Service
There is a very clear framework for the
Funeral service, but there are
many possibilities and choices within it. Each funeral service is
different, and reflects the personality of the person who has died and
the circumstances of their death. Your parish priest will be
happy to advise and assist you in choosing suitable readings, hymns and
prayers and in ensuring that the life of the person who has died is
celebrated and remembered appropriately. Don't hesitate to voice your
queries, concerns and special requests. Church of England Funeral
services are particularly sensitive in their provision for funerals of
children, and those who have died in distressing circumstances, such as
an accident or an act of violence or suicide.
BUT first, immediately after the death, please
contact a Funeral
Director. At St Francis we recommend that whoever you choose they
should be a member of the National Association of Funeral Directors
(NAFD). Membership of the NAFD is always a mark of both quality care
and good value for money.
We recommend:
- Christopher Wickendens, 154 London Road, Isleworth Middlesex,
Tel:
020 8569 8373
- Frederick Paine, 227 Twickenham Road, Isleworth, Middlesex,
Tel; 020
8560 3975
- Brown and Sanders, 512 Great West Road, Heston, Middlesex,
Tel: 020
8570 3057
- Holmes and Daughters, 3 Church Road, Ashford, Middlesex,
Tel:01784
421015
- Lodge Brothers, 44 -
45 Half Acre, Brentford, Middlesex, Tel: 020 8560 7499
Burial or
cremation?
In many rural parishes, churchyards are still
open for
burials and for
the interment of cremated remains. In most towns and cities, burials
now take place in local cemeteries after a service which may be held in
the local church, or the cemetery chapel.
These days many families decide to make use of the crematorium, and
cremation is perfectly acceptable in the Church of England.
The scattering of Ashes can take place within the garden at the
crematorium. Normally the scattering of ashes is included with the
crematorium fees.
Some families request the burial of ashes, and this usually takes
place
a few days after the crematorium service. A very brief service is held
at the place of interment, and attending this may serve to mark the end
of the immediate - and busy - stage of the grieving journey. Special
areas within the local cemeteries are often set aside for ashes or they
may be placed within a family grave. The Funeral Directors are
required, by the local authorities, to make a charge for the burial of
ashes.
After the funeral
People who have lost someone close to them are
often so busy with
practical details and arrangements between the death and the funeral
that they do not experience the full sense of their loss until later.
Grieving is a natural and important part of coming to terms with
and
healing this loss and it may continue for a long time. Your church is
always available and willing to offer you any help you may require. You
will often find that it is those who have suffered a close bereavement
themselves, clergy or lay people, who can most easily offer comfort and
support to those who mourn. Sometimes the prayers from the service, a
few of which are given below, may help you find comfort in the promises
of Jesus Christ.
A prayer for ourselves
Support us, 0 Lord, all the day long of
this life, until the shadows
lengthen and the evening comes, the busy world is hushed, the fever of
life is over and our work is done. Then, Lord, in your mercy grant us a
safe lodging, a holy rest, and peace at the last; through Christ our
Lord. Amen.
Father, you know our hearts and share our sorrows. We are hurt
by our
parting from (person's name) whom we loved: when we are angry at the
loss we have sustained, when we long for words of comfort, yet find
them hard to hear, turn our grief to truer living, and our affliction
to firmer hope in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Heavenly Father, you have not made us for darkness and death,
but for
life with you for ever. Without you we have nothing to hope for; with
you we have nothing to fear. Speak to us now your words of eternal
life. Lift us from anxiety and guilt to the light and peace of your
presence, and set the glory of your love before us; through Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.
Memorials
The classic way to mark the place of burial or
interment of ashes is to
place a memorial stone at the location. These vary in appearance,
wording and cost. We ALWAYS suggest that you talk over the design and
wording with the Memorial Masons. The stones are normally placed on the
site some weeks after the service.
Speak to your Funeral Director who will recommend a suitable stone
mason.
Memorial Books
Most Crematoria have Memorial Books into which
you can have inscribed
your loved one's name.
Questions of life and death
'God's love and power extend over all
creation. Every life, including
our own, is precious to God. Christians have always believed that there
is hope in death as in life, and that there is new life in Christ after
death.'
For all involved, a funeral service may raise profound personal
questions about the meaning of life and death. Christians believe that
Jesus' death and resurrection are the triumph of good over evil and of
life over death and have opened the gate to eternal life for us.
Most Christians would describe hell as separation from the love of
God.
The separation is never what God wants, it is our own responsibility.
Heaven, on the other hand, is about knowing and delighting in the
presence and love of God and of the whole company of heaven. Whatever
is wonderful about life here on earth is only a glimpse of the life
that is to come.
There may not be much time around the funeral to reflect on these
things, but make space later on to come back to them. Rev. Anne will be
glad to offer help in thinking through how you have
been affected personally.
All Souls Candles and Easter Lilies
The next of kin normally receives invitations
to participate in the
Lilies for Easter and the Candles of Remembrance at the All Soul's tide
service in November.
Contact Rev. Anne for further information.
Our thanks
to St. Hilda's Church, Ashford, whose fact sheet we have adapted.
